I think I have sunken to a new low. I feel like a total loser. Okay maybe not a loser but definitely a little lame. I know very well that I am not but that doesn't take the feeling of being lame away. What has me feeling that way? The answer is simple, the lovely virtual world of social networking. Why? Well a few days ago I realized that my crush has a facebook account and I find myself hoping that he would talk to me. I find it funny, sad, and pathetic that I'm here waiting for a miracle of some kind. As if he would really pay attention to me. Okay let me rephrase that…as if he would actually talk to me. No, I am not putting myself down. I just think that if he doesn't talk to me whenever we bump into each other in real life, the likelihood of him talking to me in any other way is slim to none. Yet I can't help myself and hope for something.
I guess I keep thinking that a lot of people are like me in some way….that even though I'm really shy and proper in real life…I can let my guard down just a tiny bit if I'm typing away on the a keyboard or even better talking on the phone…I can pretend to be a wild temptress, a concubine, a sub…okay not pretend but explore those sides of me without having to worry (too much) about what others may think of the nice, innocent, sweet, daughter/sister of so and so…
