I usually try to be bubbly but lately I have been feeling bubble-less and a desire to keep my emotions under control. Well not just my emotions but everything around me and it's a bit troubling….if I do say so. 
Oh I miss my bubble and my bubbly-ness...
On another note today I slipped; I wanted something I shouldn't want and I wrote something that I regret so much because it just makes me feel foolish for wanting it. Okay let me try to explain since right now it doesn't make sense even to me. For the past few months I haven't felt the desire to flirt, tease, or even talk to anyone yet for some forsaken reason today I wanted to have a normal conversation with…the mystery man...
What's wrong with that; nothing just that it makes me feel like I'm still hoping for something...I'm just not sure what I'm hoping for. I know I'm smart girl but as to why I keep hoping or having a slight desire for something I know it's impossible…I don't know… The worst part is that I thought I could control my emotions in order not to feel anything, especially when I know that if I start having feelings for him again I'm just going to hurt myself even more. Okay, so I have never stopped having feelings for him, it’s just that my feelings were a bit subdued because I didn’t want to admit how much I had hurt myself by hoping….
